From ''The Mouthy Housewives''

There is this wonderful blog I read called ''The Mouthy Housewives''. It's an advice blog (no psychotherapy, just woman to woman), and I LOVE IT!! Every so often they post a ''rant'' (see the connection!?) that they entitle ''Mouthing Off''...this post is today's ''Mouthing Off''. I found it so funny and true that I just had to share!! For those of you interested in the blog, I will post a link at the bottom of this post!! Enjoy!





MOUTHING OFF: Holiday Commercials

Oh, you know the ones I’m talking about.

Lexus.

Kay Jewelers.

That one where they won’t stop talking about ORGIES. (Or maybe it’s 4G. Whichever.)
They’re the ever-present car, jewelry, and gadget commercials that make us all feel like a steaming pile of reindeer poop. The ones that suggest you’re probably not a real husband or wife if you don’t fork out some serious cash for blood diamonds this year. I mean, the holiday season is stressful enough, wouldn’t you say? How the hell are we supposed to get into the spirit while being bombarded with images of hipster car drivers with a keen ear for obscure piano music and PDA-loving, diamond-adorned romance novel characters?

It’s CHRISTMASTIME, not Armageddon for crying out loud! In fact, just the other day, I was enjoying a moment of family harmony after dinnertime. In that brief, blissful five minute period, there were no quarters shoved in the Wii, no sweaty socks sitting on the dining room table, and no shrieks of horror bellowing from the laundry room. The four of us sat on the couch and clicked on the television for some educational programming when–BAM!Jane Seymour strikes again.Suddenly my husband was cursing under his breath about the impossible pressures that are placed on modern man while the children lamented the fact that our Christmas tree wasn’t topped with a Swarovski-studded star. I even found myself daydreaming about chocolate-covered diamonds and humming, “Every kiss begins with…STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!”

We tried to salvage the evening, but a few minutes later, we were subjected to that horrid Lexus commercial. You know the one.

(WHY IS THERE A CAR IN OUR LIVING ROOM?! I WANT A DIVORCE! )

I’m not sure what type of feeling it’s meant to evoke, but I’m guessing RAGE isn’t what the advertising executives had in mind. And yet that’s all I can manage to muster when I hear that insipid tune followed by a look of recognition and excitement on some 1%-er’s face. What is this 1953, and we’re all on an episode of Name That Tune? At this point, my family had all had quite enough. My husband flipped the couch over, the children set fire to the Christmas tree, and I went off to find the vodka I buried in the back yard. And as I lay there in the back yard, covered in dirt and mourning the days of Christmases past, I started scripting my own goddamn commercial in my head. Because who are these people who buy cars for Christmas, and where the hell do they get those ridiculous bows? WHERE? So here’s my version of a more realistic holiday commercial:
*****

Scene: A bickering couple rides in their building’s elevator, late for a holiday party. She digs in her purse for a tape recorder to play the Lexus theme music and surprise her husband.

Him: What the hell are you looking for? Don’t tell me you left your wallet in the apartment, because we are NOT going back, Meegan.

Her: OHJUSTSHUTUPANDLISTENTOTHISMUSICFORAMINUTE! [Presses play.]

Him: I can’t hear anything.

Her: [Banging on tape recorder.] Jesus. I think it’s broken.

(The elevator stops and opens. He walks out.)

Her: NO WAIT! Why are you always trying to ruin my surprises?!

Him: What surprise? [Spots car parked in front of the building with a red bow.] Ha! Getta load of this! Some asshole bought a $45,000 car for his wife. He probably didn’t even ask her first. Surprise honey, I spent your retirement! What an idiot!

Her: Um, SURPRISE, honey! That’s for you!

Him: [Incredulous.] That’s for ME?

Her: [Beaming with satisfaction.] Mmm-hmm!

Him: Why the…I don’t….I mean…it’s…RED. Why are you always trying to emasculate me?! And are those cloth seats? God, this is the worst Christmas ever.
FIN.
*****
THIS is your American clientele, Lexus. Get it right next year for Pete’s sake.

http://www.mouthyhousewives.com/

Jenny From the Stripper Pole!?

So the American Music Awards were on last night and since I'm a music lover I decided to watch. I should have went to bed instead....it was the worst spectacle I've seen in a long time! The clothes were bad, the music was bad (half the stuff I couldn't understand)...all in all the show itself was just a disappointment! The worst part to me was the way the women chose to portray themselves, I mean let's face it, young kids watch this (or at least thats the age group they are shooting for) and all they saw last night was trash! The worst to me was Jennifer Lopez (pic below). She performed (lip-synced probably) last night an outfit that was best left in a strip club! I mean, if I wanted to watch a 40-something year old woman strip, then grind her ass in the crotch of some rapper I would just go to...well I guess I wouldn't have to go anywhere, I just have to turn on my TV! Seriously NO CLASS AT ALL! Like I said the worst part to me is the young girls that watched this and thought ''thats what I have to look like/act like to be sexy''! In all the articles I've read online this morning about her performance I've seen the words ''riveting'', ''hot'', ''spectacular'', and ''full of energy'', but no where have I read the words ''trashy'', ''class-less'', or ''inappropriate''!!! Young girls need positive role models, not ones that dress up half nude or like drag queens **clears throat**(Christina Aguilera)! I personally do not care for Taylor Swift's music (not all of it anyways), but at least she has the good sense to not sell her body image over her music!! I know that I'm getting older (holding strong at 29!! lol), and have small kids, but I also know I'm not alone in my feelings! All I can hope for is I can do the best job in raising my babies to believe that each individual is unique and beautiful for who they are, not what they look like or wear...because obviously the music/movie/magazine/TV/media in general is not going to change any time soon!! **clears throat** Jersey Shore..enough said!!

You, Ma'am, are a dumbass.....

Here is a fun OWS article where you can clearly see the media bias.
http://news.yahoo.com/pregnant-teen-elderly-woman-among-pepper-sprayed-113054448.html;_ylt=Ak0XG1h8xx3tGO70.S_lyvms0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNqZWw0M29sBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnAzU2ZTdlNDJiLTg4YmYtMzJiYi1hZGJhLTRlNDBkZDVhZTBjNQRwb3MDMQRzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgNiMWFhNDlhZS0xMDgxLTExZTEtOTNlZS1iZjlhYmY0MjVjODA-;_ylg=X3oDMTI3bzhoY2JpBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QDY29udHJvbF9ub3Byb21v;_ylv=3

The headline on Yahoo news was "Pregnant teen, elderly woman among pepper sprayed"
and here is the main photo:

Holy crap, I wanted to lose my mind!!

First!  Two months pregnant is not that pregnant.  You have just barely peed on a stick and probably havent even had a real prenatal appointment yet.

Second!  If you are pregnant, why the hell are you at a protest rally where people are assaulting police officers and marching down the streets???  This isnt a hippy sit in, where people bang drums and sing little tunes.  It was a violent march down city streets.  If you were really concerned about your unborn child, you would have avoided a possibly dangerous situation.

Third!  Its freaking pepper spray!  You dont need to go to the hospital.  There is absolutely nothing they can give you to fix it.  Cops use it to break up huge house parties of drunk teenagers, so you were not the victim of a violent act.

The article barely made mention of the fact that some people had thrown an unknown liquid at officers.  Others were engaging in "assaultive behavior"  towards officers.  You assholes are lucky you just got pepper sprayed!  If you tried that shit in south phoenix, your ass would be knocked to the ground.  Pretty sure that assaulting an officer is a felony, so you all should be glad you only got sprayed.

A priest, and an old liberal professional activist were also listed among the sprayed.  Hey, if you dont want to be lumped in with the criminals, DONT HANG OUT WITH THEM!  I bet the protesters on the sidelines, that werent in the street, or assaulting the cops didn't get sprayed at all.

Do you want this job or not?

Femminists ruin everything....  Take this latest sexual harrasment story in the news.  It destroys everything they worked for in Womans equality.  Will I explain?  of course:)

Personally, sometimes i wish this countrys value system went back in time to something of the old west.  If women worked back then, it was as a teacher, and their primary roll was running a home or raising children.  People stopped when they entered a room, and stood when they joined them at dinner.  Although not "equal" to men, they were respected and treated as precious.
Imagine, in that time period, if a woman was shopping, or out to dinner, and a man made a sexual comment to her.  Of course she would be horrified, becasue it wouldnt be appropriate, and would tell him so.  What she had to do would stop there though.  If any man was in the vicinity, they would most likely approach the asshole and demand an apology, or take him outside and beat his ass.  No one just came up and talked to women like that!
Over the years, women have fought for their right to vote, and right to work  To femminists it was insulting to be treated as the weaker sex, and they demanded equality.
Fast forward to today.  All of these years, and all of these changes to who women are in society, and in the workplace, and they are working backwards.  If you truly think you are equal to men, this victim approach to sexual harrasment is bullshit.  Sadly, most men arent allowed to open the door for female co-workers, so they definitely arent going to fight for your honor... so they are out of the equation.  Time to take matters into your own hands ladies!  Are you powerful enough to run a department, and savy enough to make your company money?   Well then you sure as shit can walk over to Dan in accounting and tell him to stop forwarding you jokes you find offensive!!  And you definitely can let some co-worker know that their comments have gone too far and you dont appreciate it.   You ARENT allowed to take a "How dare he!" approach, though.  You fought for your right to be equal to him in the workplace, and have given up your "delicate preciousness"... so deal with it.

on a side note, wouldnt it be nice if you didnt have to deal with it though??   It would be so nice to just have a fellow co-worker take him out back and defend your honor...lol   Ya, that doesnt happen anymore though:)

What YAHOO Considers News

Here are the top ''news'' stories on Yahoo today:



#1--Five Married Women On Why They Cheated
#2--Actress Passed Up For 'Notebook' Role
#3--The Shoe Styles Every Woman Should Own
#4--Police, Protesters Clash Again In Oakland
#5--Kim's Red Carpet Return Raises Eyebrows
#6--Beyonce's Unquie 5 Inch Heels
#7--How Kim K. Told Mom About Divorce


I could go on, but let's just say this...FOUR (did you hear that) four out of the top forty eight news stories were actually about important shit!! Seriously, who gives a shit why women cheated on their husbands!? It doesn't affect me and my marriage (or anyone else's I know for that matter)! I mean, I like shoes just as much as the next girl, but come'on, it's not news! And as far as Kim K. and that train wreck, I am personally tired of hearing about it. I could really give a rats ass whether or not that waste of brain cells staged that wedding for publicity or not! She is insignificant and cheap...I mean she is famous really for nothing right!?
There is so much going on in America and around the world right now and THIS shit is what Yahoo considers news!? I truly am shocked they are still one of the #1 news sources on the Internet! I do not care for MsNBC (I personally think they are VERY one-sided politically) but I am about to make them my home page just so when I go online to read the news, I actually get the news (no matter how one-sided it is)! Come on people...America is in the shitter, we should demand better out of our news sources. I'm not talking about politics necessarily, but news! Ya know how about child hunger in AMERICA, under performing schools in AMERICA, unemployment in AMERICA and how it's affecting everyday people not politicians, health care and rising insurance rates in AMERICA, our troops still in war in Afghanistan (all the news is focusing on is the troops leaving Iraq) ect... There are real problems out there that NO ONE in the news follows, not because they don't know about it, but because bullshit politics is what gives ratings! All the back and forth bickering and backstabbing is what makes money...it's such a sad state we are in here and it seems like no one is willing to take the high road and put the focus where it needs to be! I'm in no way ashamed to be an American, but I can honestly say I am ashamed of the way our information/Internet/news media ect... is ran! When I win the lottery I am gonna buy a TV station and finally give news to the common American that the common American wants and deserves!!

Who supplied the market research for this one?

My husband is always entertained by me watching commercials..  partly because most of the time i have a comment.  Here is my most recent fav that really annoys me!

Anyone seen these diapers yet??

They are for moms with squirmy babies... that just cant settle down long enough for a diaper change.
Now here goes my rant:

REALLY moms???  "my baby just doesnt want to sit still while i change them"  You need to take that 9-12 month old and smack them on their ass the next time they try to get away durring changing time.  It's not that crazy of a concept.  Just because a kid doesnt feel like doing something doesnt mean you should cater to them.  You are the parent, and YOU know what is best for them.  And what is best for them is to sit their ass still while you are changing them so that they dont smear poop everywhere or dont beat you in a war of the wills.
All three of my kids tried that sqirmy crap once... and never again.... so i didnt have to buy more expensive diapers because i couldnt get my child to mind me.

there ya go....

Welcome

Welcome to The Rant. A blog thought up by a couple of like-minded SAHM. We are using this blog as a release to our everyday loves, frustrations and shit that just makes us down right angry!! You don't like our views, that's fine...no one asked you to read it anyways!! :) We love a good debate, so feel free to counter in the comments section, however, just keep in mind, this is our blog, and we are always right!! lol