Monday, January 21, 2013
Sweet Land Of Liberty?
So on this day, my hope for our nation (for all our children's sake) is that more people (no matter your political party, religious affiliation, color or sexual orientation) listen to or read the text of Dr. King's beautiful 'I Have A Dream' speech, take in the words and REALLY hear them! Hear them, learn them and truly try to live by them!!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Need Some Help Here
--I'm a picky eater
--I can be judgemental (but seriously who can't)
--I am extremely opinionated
--My mouth
--I yell at my kids more than I would like to
--I HATE to clean bathrooms and can usually rope my hubby into doing it
My list could go on, but seriously, we don't have time for that! One thing I'm struggling with lately makes me question my intellect. Makes me feel like I really don't understand some of my fellow Americans. Political parties aside, can someone please explain to me this whole ''war on women'' BS!? Let me back this up a bit. YES, I am a woman. Yes, I believe in equal rights for women. Yes, I believe that a woman's body is hers and that no one has the right to make decisions about her body but her. YES, I take birth control and plan to continue to do so. But, I also believe that a woman does NOT deserve a job or $$ over a man who is better qualified for the job than she. I also believe that there is no harm in giving a woman considering an abortion a look at ALL her options. I also believe that taxpayer $$ should not go to said abortion if a woman chooses to have one, and I also believe it is not the government's job to provide birth control.
In many circles now days I would be called a ''sell-out'', or ''sexist'' (which is just funny honestly). Some might even say that what I just stated as MY BELIEFS to be an oxymoron, but seriously folks...I just don't get it! If the whole ''feminist'' movement was about women's rights and independence, then how in the hell can there be a war on women waged by male politicians? Aren't women really waging war on themselves? I was raised to believe I could do anything a man could do, and if I wanted to, I could do it better! Isn't that what the strong women in the past fought for? So we today could have the rights and ability to be CEO's, doctors, lawyers, firefighters, police officers ect.. ? Why on earth would any woman that claims to be a ''feminist'' want ANYONE to pay for their damn birth control!? News flash--IT'S NOT A RIGHT!!! Are cancer drugs a right? Better yet, are drugs to prevent any kind of illness a right? Why should drugs that prevent pregnancy a right!? I have always paid for my own birth control, even in my early 20's when I didn't have health insurance, I still paid for it! Why? Because I didn't want to get pregnant, and as a strong, independent young woman I understood it was my responsibility to take care of that...no one else's!!
Now, I am not ignorant to the fact that there are men (politicians included) that are sexist and believe women should be subservient to their husbands/significant others
So I just don't get why so many women are against so many women in this election! The common goal of women should be to prop each other up, not knock each other down! There is so much bad in America right now (Hello, can you say economy, jobless and the deficit) that I just don't get why a woman's vagina has been thrown front and center!! I can tell you this much...since I was able to vote (think Slick Willie's 1st term) my rights and my vagina's rights have remained unchanged! And I don't foresee any change in that status come next January even if we have a new set of politicians in the White House!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
America, Getting It Right Since...Never
Wal-Mart vs. The Morons
1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.
2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.
4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private employer, and most speak English.
6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.
8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.
11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)
12.90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.
You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy.
This should be read and understood by all Americans Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!
To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature
It is now official that the majority of you are corrupt morons:
1. The U.S.Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.
2. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.
3. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.
4. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to "the poor" and they only want more..
5. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.
6. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.
7. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.
You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars.
AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM ??
Folks, keep this circulating.. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end up in the e-mails of some of our "duly elected' (they never read anything) and their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel.
AND
I know what's wrong. We have lost our minds to "Political Correctness" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone please tell me what the HELL's wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!
We're "broke" & can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless etc.,??????????? In the last months we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile, and Turkey .. And now Pakistan ......previous home of bin Laden. Literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!
Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$'s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries! We have hundreds of adoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans.
AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed hungry, elderly going without 'needed' meds, and mentally ill without treatment -etc,etc.
YET......................
They have a 'Benefit' for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding, doctors and medical supplies.
Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'US' the same support they give to other countries. Sad isn't it?
Thursday, July 26, 2012
I'll Take a 12 Pack Nugget and a Sweet Tea Please!
Let’s talk a little about Chick-fil-A (CFA for blogs sake) for a moment shall we. CFA will NOT be discriminating against people who wish to buy food from them. To do so, CFA would be exposing themselves to a massive class action lawsuit from the LGBT community as that group is likely to find protection under the Civil Rights Act (64, 91). CFA will also NOT be discriminating against potential employees who are LGBT. To do so would break laws enforced by the EEOC, a specific government agency devoted to stopping just such discrimination. So, if you don’t like what Dan Cathy said, that’s fine. But can we please stop squealing with offense because CFA is “discriminating” against people!? As soon as CFA denies service to someone because they’re gay or denies employment to someone because they’re gay, THEN you can get all pissy and will be justified and righteous in being such. Now, if you want to boycott, picket, pee your pants or whatever because you don’t like what Mr. Cathy said, feel free! Have at it! Knock yourself out! Enjoy your right to free speech. Mr. Cathy exercised just that right the other day! I’ll be over here eating what I want to eat (the best freaking chicken nuggets EVER) and loving all the people I loved two weeks ago, plus any new folks I’ve come to love in the interim! Oh, and from a business standpoint, I can’t believe he said that. Bad business, but clearly, he doesn’t care about that as much as he cares about his beliefs. There’s something admirable about that, even if you do hate what he had to say.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
stop apologizing
Moms... we need to stop it. Especially us who stay home. Our house does not have to be immaculate at all times. EVERY TIME someone comes by to drop off something, i get this overwhelming urge to apologize for the pile of clean towels waiting to be folded on my pool table.
They dont care! And if they do they are an asshole and shouldnt be your friend. We live and work in our houses, and the results are constant piles of projects that we need to do our job properly.
I am making it my mission to never again apologize for the state of my house unless someone just threw up or it smells like dirty diapers.
I saw someone from my church make a lengthy apology to the teenager they paid to babysit the kids that all of the laundry wasnt put away. So now we dont only have to keep everything up for our friends, we care what kids think too??!! If that babysitter wants to make an extra buck, she should probably fold and put away the towels. just sayin...
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
The Mommy Wars BS
I hope I raise children who say “thank you” to the bus driver when they gets off the bus, “please” to the waiter taking their order at the restaurant, and holds the elevator doors when someone’s rushing to get in.
I hope I raise children who lose graciously and win without bragging. I hope they learn that disappointments are fleeting and so are triumphs, and if they come home at night to people who love them, neither one matter. Nobody is keeping score, except sometimes on Facebook.
I hope I raise children who are kind to old people.
I hope I raise children that realizes life is unfair: Some people are born rich or gorgeous. Some people really are handed things that they don’t deserve. Some people luck into jobs or wealth that they don’t earn. Tough shit...I want them to learn that if they study hard and work harder they too can have riches! (and I don't necessarily mean money)
I hope I raise children who gets what they want just often enough to keep them optimistic but not enough to make them spoiled.
I hope I raise children who knows that they're loved and special but that they're not the center of the universe and never, ever will be.
I hope I raise children who will stick up for a kid who’s being bullied on the playground. I also hope I raise children who, if they're the one being bullied, fights back. Hard. Oh, and if they're the bully? I hope they realize that their mother will cause them more pain than a bully ever could!!
I hope I raise children who relishes life’s tiny pleasures—whether it’s a piece of music, or the color of a gorgeous flower, or Chinese takeout on a rainy Sunday night.
I hope I raise children that are open-minded and curious about the world without being reckless.
I hope I raise children that do not need to affirm their self-worth through bigotry, snobbery, materialism, or violence.
I hope I raise children who like to read.
I hope I raise children that are courageous when sick and grateful when healthy.
I hope I raise children that will begin and end all relationships straightforwardly and honorably.
I hope I raise children who can spot superficiality and artifice from a mile away and spend their time with people and things that feel authentic to them.
I hope I raise children who make quality friends and keeps them.
I hope I raise children who realize their parents are flawed but loves them ferociously.
And I hope that if my children turn out to be colossal screw-ups, I can take it in stride. I hope I remember that they're their own person, and there’s only so much I can do. They are not an appendage to be dangled from my breasts on the cover of a magazines! Their success is not my ego’s accessory, and I am not Super Mom.
I hope for all of these things, but I know this: NOT ONE of these wishes has a thing to do with how I feed them, sleep-train them, or god-knows-what-else them!! Which is how I know that these fabricated “wars” are phony every step of the way. I do not need the expensive stroller. I do not need to go into mourning if my "sleep-training method" is actually a "prayer ritual" that involves tiptoeing around the house in the dark. This is not a damn test. It’s a game called Extreme Parenting, and you can’t lose if you don’t play. And, really, why would I play? I have children to raise!
Saturday, January 21, 2012
My Top Five
#1- Parents that keep the babies gender hidden from society because they don't want their children labeled! (http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/couple-finally-reveals-childs-gender-five-years-birth-180300388.html)
Give me a fuckin break!! Look, I agree that there are too many pressures these days; girls to be girly, boys to be masculine, dress, look, act a certain way to be accepted...but this shit has always happened and always will! You wanna break the trend start in your home, but not while stripping your child of their gender!! Gender is a part of us, it is helps mold us into the person we are suppose to be! If little boy A wants to play with dolls, then let him!! If little girl A wants to play with car/trucks, then let her! However, to not share with them our knowledge as parents and let them know that not all people in the world will be accepting of that, then I think we as parents have failed them!! My son plays dress-up with my daughter, sometime he even puts on her princess dresses...I giggle cause it's cute, I don't encourage it, but I equally don't stifle it!! However if he wanted to go to school in a Cinderella shirt I would be inclined to explain to him that he might be made fun of, not to hurt him, but to keep him from getting hurt!! See how easy that is...you allow them to be them, make their own decisions (to a point) but at the same time you are educating them to the reality of the cruelty of this society! The idiot mother in this article states;
''Sasha dresses in clothes he likes -- be it a hand-me-downs from his sister or his brother. The big no-no's are hyper-masculine outfits like skull-print shirts and cargo pants. In one photo, sent to friends and family, Sasha's dressed in a shiny pink girl's swimsuit. "Children like sparkly things," says Beck. "And if someone thought Sasha was a girl because he was wearing a pink swimming costume, then what effect would that have? "
**WARNING..foul language ahead**
Are you shitting me!? I haven't heard that much bullshit come out of one person in a LONG time!! How the fuck are you encouraging them to be who they are if ''skull shirts and cargo pants'' aren't ok, but ''a shiny pink girl's swimsuit'' is!? AND then she has enough nerve to question what effect that might have!!! Let me clue you in you clueless bitch....the effect it's gonna have is *my mommy MUST have wanted a girl because she let's me wear girl clothes but not boy clothes!!
Let me make one thing clear, I AM NOT anti-gay!! I don't want anything I have said to be taken that way!! If one of my children came to me one day and told me they were gay, I would still be the most loving supportive mother!! But there is a huge difference between forcing your children into typical stereotypes (which was her reasoning) and teaching them how to love one another, and be accepting of all those who don't look or act like you!! I see bullying in this kids future, not because his parents let him dress in a girls swimsuit but because they didn't teach him how to be strong, hold his head up and be proud of the little boy he is!!
#2- Modern Family asked to not air the episode with Lily cussing (to which they said eff you we're airing it!!)
http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/modern-family-toddler-lily-2-drops-f-bomb-on-controversial-episode-2012191
Let me start by saying this...FUNNIEST SHOW ON TV and best episode in a long time!
To quote one of the opposers:
"It is certainly in poor taste," Melissa Henson, the director of communications and public education for PTC told Fox411 before the episode aired. "The more we see and hear this kind of language on television, the more acceptable and common it will become in the real world. Since television is constantly adding to the likelihood that children will be exposed to this kind of language, we will naturally see more and more children eventually emulate that behavior.''
OK, with that out of the way....really people??? Get over yourself, YOU have the power to turn the F(beep)ING channel!! That's one thing we grown ups have as a right, to watch a certain TV show or to not watch a certain TV show...AND, they bleeped the word out!! You didn't even hear it, the word used was assumed!! They didn't even let the little actor say the word, they coached her to say 'fudge' on set!!
The other thing we as adults/parents can do is... (wait for it) filter/screen what our children watch and do not watch on TV!! (don't ya just love being in charge!?) I for one DVR Modern Family because I don't want my kids to watch it and then I watch it when my kids are in bed (*hands over mouth*...yes even YOU can do that!!).
If you are a parent and have stubbed your toe and said 'dammit that hurt' in front of your 2 yr old, I guarantee that at some point in the near future your precious 2 yr old is gonna hurt his/her self and say 'dammit that hut'!!! Then we as parents giggle (only for the slightest second) and proceed to explain that we don't say that cause it's a bad word and that mommy should have never said that!! See that's the way MOST parents work!! WE aren't perfect, we didn't get a damn manual on 'How To Raise Perfect Children' because you see perfect is an urban legend! Perfect is reserved for assholes that think entirely too much of themselves...so if you are raising a ''perfect'' child, the you sir/madam are raising an asshole!!
#3- I am SO sick of political stereotypes and all the hate (in politics) these days!! We have all heard the political stereotypes being thrown around by both political parties – Republicans are old white men, Democrats care about the poor – blah, blah. There are dozens of these stereotypes for each party. But how many people do you know that do not match the common political stereotypes for their party?? Before I go any further I will try to list as many of these stereotypes as I can. I know I will miss some so feel free to remind me.
Democrats – weak on defense, intellectual, environmentalist, gay, anti-business, young, hippies, pro-choice, pro-UN, socialist, communist, anarchist, anti-American, pro-gun control, support higher taxes, support big government, multicultural, progressive, support redistribution of wealth, pro-science, anti-rich, cultured, Pro-free expression, for the common man/woman, inclusive, fans of pop/rock or hip-hop music, media friendly, pro-labor, New England-er, Liberal, liar, pro-separation of church and state
Republican – racist, warmonger, white, male, pro-business, anti-worker, fundamentalist Christian, Nazi, fascist, redneck, pro-personal responsibility, likes country music, ignorant, uneducated, not worldly, isolationist, intolerant, pro-gun, greedy, exploitative, rude, cowboy, NASCAR fan or sports fan in general, Southern, Conservative, anti-old people, hunter, rich, pro-life, anti-gay, anti-science, creationists, against the Arts, pro-censorship, liar, pro school prayer
OK, I know that these lists are not complete and I know that there are some on here that you might disagree with or feel are inaccurate. That is the point of stereotypes – they do not have to be accurate and frequently are very inaccurate. Take a look at the list. How many of these stereotypes match your beliefs and your party affiliation?
Here are my political beliefs, you tell me what party I belong to!
-I am a white female who believes in personal responsibility.
-I believe that welfare is good, but MUST have regulations to limit abuse.
-I am a believer of God who loves Heavy Metal, Rock and some Rap music. (and Justin Beiber)
-I am immensely interested in science and technology and believe that many of society’s problems will be/can be solved by the proper application of both.
-I believe in free markets and free trade.
-I do not want higher taxes but understand it's the end game (at some point) to get out of our country's debt.
-I do not like the UN but I am not an isolationist.
-I do not hunt or want my children to.
-I am not rich.
-I am pro-choice, yet I would not choose to have an abortion.
-I believe that all gays should have the same rights as myself.
-I believe that evolution is more likely than creationism to be able explain human origins, but still go to church and believe in most of the teachings.
-I have attended college but I have no degree, yet.
-I think that immigration is important to the future of the country, but I support English only rules for government and schools.
-I think the US-Mexico boarder is in need of greater security (as is the US-Canadian boarder), but I also think we need to make it easier for Mexicans to enter the country legally.
-I love art and music in all of its forms but I do not think the government should spend the people’s money supporting it, except in schools!
-I am not worried about the outsourcing of jobs to other countries, but I also think there should be incentives for companies to stay in America.
-I am against censorship but I think most people have no idea what censorship really is (it's more than cuss words and nudity people).
-I am a Patriot, but I really love our friends from all over the planet (no matter what country you are from).
-I hate Michael Moore!!!!
-I did not vote for Obama (frankly don't think he's a good POTUS), but I have NEVER and will never disrespect his office!
So there you have it, what party do I belong too? How do you fit into the common stereotypes? Do you think that the political parties do a good job representing your views? I believe that both the Democrat Party and the Republican Party have gone to the extreme in many of their views and have forgotten that most people are in the middle!
#4- If I wanna call my kid an asshole, It's my right!!
The other day I was reading a blog (which I LOVE) called Scary Mom (http://www.scarymommy.com/). She had posted a blog in which she called her oldest child a lazy asshole. A few days later she had to post a disclaimer saying that if you don't like what I write then don't read my blog! Seriously, the poor woman got hate e-mails telling her she was a horrible mother for saying that!! To clarify...she didn't call her oldest child-to their face-that they were a lazy asshole, she said it on her blog...a blog that she has stated many time her children are not allowed to read (they are young)! WOW, some people need to get a life....she isn't beating them! Here are a list of some of the things I've said about my kids (NOT TO THEM), mainly to my sister, my SIL, my husband (their father), and my friends:
-He's acting like an asshole
-She's acting like a little bitch
-He's acting like a little bitch
-He really needs to grow a pair of balls
-I'm gonna punch him/her in the face if they don't stop whining
-Her voice is like nails on a fucking chalkboard
-If I have to dress one more Barbie I might stab her with it
-They are sucking my will to live
-If I step on one more Lego I'm gonna stab him in the foot with it and see how he likes it
-I have to go a beat their asses now
-If they don't shut up and eat I'm gonna starve them to death and see if they shut up about food then
I'm sure the list could go on! We as parents say many things out of anger/exhaustion but what makes a good parent and one with a decent sense of humor is one that can say these things without our kids hearing (like a fuckin ninja parent)!! I mean I LOVE them more than I love myself...do you really think, I think my boy is an asshole!? I think he can act like one, but I also know I can act like a bitch and I'm not...ok well maybe I am!! The point here is if someone wants to call CPS on me because I am having an adult night with my hubby and I say I'm gonna stab my babygirl with a Barbie, then GO THE HELL FOR IT!!! You know what they will find when they get here? A home that is so full of love it is bursting! So screw you goody-two-shoes!!
#5- The Texas Ranger's just signed a 25yr old Japanese pitcher to a 6yr, 60MILLION $$ deal!! Darvish is his name...60 MILLION! All I have to say is where the fuck is the Occupy movement!? I'm gonna encourage a new movement~Occupy Professional Sports/Hollywood~because they are the most over-paid, over-rated members of society!! You want redistribution of wealth Occupy that bitches!!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Please God!
I always find Christmas shopping for my kids both fun and depressing. We dont buy them anything during the year, so they are so excited and appreciative.
All of their friends, on the other hand, are the complete opposite.
Every time they go to walmart, something new is in the cart, and their rooms are overflowing with crap that they dont treat well, and have broken and shoved everywhere.
I got Giada her first Lalaloopsy doll this year. I was quick to find out from all the moms, that their kids (age 4 mind you) already had all of them, and they were getting them 3 new ones this year. 3?? wth? why??
Nicko was allowed this year to ask his grandparents for a Nintendo DS. I knew they would buy it, and was excited for him. He also let me know that all of his friends at school have had one since they were 4. Are you freaking kidding me??
Dimitri got a star wars lego guy alarm clock as his birthday present. I guess im a shitty parent becasue i only spent $40 on my six year old instead of $300 like our neighbor... Personally i think 40 bucks is an insane price for a clock thats not from Pottery Barn, but aparently about 4 of his friends got a similar one just for the hell of it years ago. There goes all my thunder:(
I just want some friends for my kids that arent spoiled, and dont have EVERYTHING given to them.
THose kind of kids would be a joy to have for a playdate. Then, maybe, if say, they break my son's brand new remote control car, that was one of THREE presents he got for Christmas from us that year, they would actually feel bad about it.
are they out there??!!
*I will add to this post that they ARE out there, and they happen to life one cul-de-sac away:) Thank you God for sending my kids a friend for each kid, of the same age and gender, who are sweet and calm, and have Christian parents :) What an answer to prayer!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
From ''The Mouthy Housewives''
MOUTHING OFF: Holiday Commercials
Oh, you know the ones I’m talking about.
Lexus.
Kay Jewelers.
That one where they won’t stop talking about ORGIES. (Or maybe it’s 4G. Whichever.)
They’re the ever-present car, jewelry, and gadget commercials that make us all feel like a steaming pile of reindeer poop. The ones that suggest you’re probably not a real husband or wife if you don’t fork out some serious cash for blood diamonds this year. I mean, the holiday season is stressful enough, wouldn’t you say? How the hell are we supposed to get into the spirit while being bombarded with images of hipster car drivers with a keen ear for obscure piano music and PDA-loving, diamond-adorned romance novel characters?
It’s CHRISTMASTIME, not Armageddon for crying out loud! In fact, just the other day, I was enjoying a moment of family harmony after dinnertime. In that brief, blissful five minute period, there were no quarters shoved in the Wii, no sweaty socks sitting on the dining room table, and no shrieks of horror bellowing from the laundry room. The four of us sat on the couch and clicked on the television for some educational programming when–BAM!Jane Seymour strikes again.Suddenly my husband was cursing under his breath about the impossible pressures that are placed on modern man while the children lamented the fact that our Christmas tree wasn’t topped with a Swarovski-studded star. I even found myself daydreaming about chocolate-covered diamonds and humming, “Every kiss begins with…STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!”
We tried to salvage the evening, but a few minutes later, we were subjected to that horrid Lexus commercial. You know the one.
(WHY IS THERE A CAR IN OUR LIVING ROOM?! I WANT A DIVORCE! )
I’m not sure what type of feeling it’s meant to evoke, but I’m guessing RAGE isn’t what the advertising executives had in mind. And yet that’s all I can manage to muster when I hear that insipid tune followed by a look of recognition and excitement on some 1%-er’s face. What is this 1953, and we’re all on an episode of Name That Tune? At this point, my family had all had quite enough. My husband flipped the couch over, the children set fire to the Christmas tree, and I went off to find the vodka I buried in the back yard. And as I lay there in the back yard, covered in dirt and mourning the days of Christmases past, I started scripting my own goddamn commercial in my head. Because who are these people who buy cars for Christmas, and where the hell do they get those ridiculous bows? WHERE? So here’s my version of a more realistic holiday commercial:
*****
Scene: A bickering couple rides in their building’s elevator, late for a holiday party. She digs in her purse for a tape recorder to play the Lexus theme music and surprise her husband.
Him: What the hell are you looking for? Don’t tell me you left your wallet in the apartment, because we are NOT going back, Meegan.
Her: OHJUSTSHUTUPANDLISTENTOTHISMUSICFORAMINUTE! [Presses play.]
Him: I can’t hear anything.
Her: [Banging on tape recorder.] Jesus. I think it’s broken.
(The elevator stops and opens. He walks out.)
Her: NO WAIT! Why are you always trying to ruin my surprises?!
Him: What surprise? [Spots car parked in front of the building with a red bow.] Ha! Getta load of this! Some asshole bought a $45,000 car for his wife. He probably didn’t even ask her first. Surprise honey, I spent your retirement! What an idiot!
Her: Um, SURPRISE, honey! That’s for you!
Him: [Incredulous.] That’s for ME?
Her: [Beaming with satisfaction.] Mmm-hmm!
Him: Why the…I don’t….I mean…it’s…RED. Why are you always trying to emasculate me?! And are those cloth seats? God, this is the worst Christmas ever.
FIN.
*****
THIS is your American clientele, Lexus. Get it right next year for Pete’s sake.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Jenny From the Stripper Pole!?
She performed (lip-synced probably) last night an outfit that was best left in a strip club! I mean, if I wanted to watch a 40-something year old woman strip, then grind her ass in the crotch of some rapper I would just go to...well I guess I wouldn't have to go anywhere, I just have to turn on my TV! Seriously NO CLASS AT ALL! Like I said the worst part to me is the young girls that watched this and thought ''thats what I have to look like/act like to be sexy''! In all the articles I've read online this morning about her performance I've seen the words ''riveting'', ''hot'', ''spectacular'', and ''full of energy'', but no where have I read the words ''trashy'', ''class-less'', or ''inappropriate''!!! Young girls need positive role models, not ones that dress up half nude or like drag queens **clears throat**(Christina Aguilera)! I personally do not care for Taylor Swift's music (not all of it anyways), but at least she has the good sense to not sell her body image over her music!! I know that I'm getting older (holding strong at 29!! lol), and have small kids, but I also know I'm not alone in my feelings! All I can hope for is I can do the best job in raising my babies to believe that each individual is unique and beautiful for who they are, not what they look like or wear...because obviously the music/movie/magazine/TV/media in general is not going to change any time soon!! **clears throat** Jersey Shore..enough said!!Thursday, November 17, 2011
You, Ma'am, are a dumbass.....
http://news.yahoo.com/pregnant-teen-elderly-woman-among-pepper-sprayed-113054448.html;_ylt=Ak0XG1h8xx3tGO70.S_lyvms0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTNqZWw0M29sBGNjb2RlA2N0LmMEcGtnAzU2ZTdlNDJiLTg4YmYtMzJiYi1hZGJhLTRlNDBkZDVhZTBjNQRwb3MDMQRzZWMDbW9zdF9wb3B1bGFyBHZlcgNiMWFhNDlhZS0xMDgxLTExZTEtOTNlZS1iZjlhYmY0MjVjODA-;_ylg=X3oDMTI3bzhoY2JpBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25zBHRlc3QDY29udHJvbF9ub3Byb21v;_ylv=3
The headline on Yahoo news was "Pregnant teen, elderly woman among pepper sprayed"
and here is the main photo:
Holy crap, I wanted to lose my mind!!
First! Two months pregnant is not that pregnant. You have just barely peed on a stick and probably havent even had a real prenatal appointment yet.
Second! If you are pregnant, why the hell are you at a protest rally where people are assaulting police officers and marching down the streets??? This isnt a hippy sit in, where people bang drums and sing little tunes. It was a violent march down city streets. If you were really concerned about your unborn child, you would have avoided a possibly dangerous situation.
Third! Its freaking pepper spray! You dont need to go to the hospital. There is absolutely nothing they can give you to fix it. Cops use it to break up huge house parties of drunk teenagers, so you were not the victim of a violent act.
The article barely made mention of the fact that some people had thrown an unknown liquid at officers. Others were engaging in "assaultive behavior" towards officers. You assholes are lucky you just got pepper sprayed! If you tried that shit in south phoenix, your ass would be knocked to the ground. Pretty sure that assaulting an officer is a felony, so you all should be glad you only got sprayed.
A priest, and an old liberal professional activist were also listed among the sprayed. Hey, if you dont want to be lumped in with the criminals, DONT HANG OUT WITH THEM! I bet the protesters on the sidelines, that werent in the street, or assaulting the cops didn't get sprayed at all.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Do you want this job or not?
Personally, sometimes i wish this countrys value system went back in time to something of the old west. If women worked back then, it was as a teacher, and their primary roll was running a home or raising children. People stopped when they entered a room, and stood when they joined them at dinner. Although not "equal" to men, they were respected and treated as precious.
Imagine, in that time period, if a woman was shopping, or out to dinner, and a man made a sexual comment to her. Of course she would be horrified, becasue it wouldnt be appropriate, and would tell him so. What she had to do would stop there though. If any man was in the vicinity, they would most likely approach the asshole and demand an apology, or take him outside and beat his ass. No one just came up and talked to women like that!
Over the years, women have fought for their right to vote, and right to work To femminists it was insulting to be treated as the weaker sex, and they demanded equality.
Fast forward to today. All of these years, and all of these changes to who women are in society, and in the workplace, and they are working backwards. If you truly think you are equal to men, this victim approach to sexual harrasment is bullshit. Sadly, most men arent allowed to open the door for female co-workers, so they definitely arent going to fight for your honor... so they are out of the equation. Time to take matters into your own hands ladies! Are you powerful enough to run a department, and savy enough to make your company money? Well then you sure as shit can walk over to Dan in accounting and tell him to stop forwarding you jokes you find offensive!! And you definitely can let some co-worker know that their comments have gone too far and you dont appreciate it. You ARENT allowed to take a "How dare he!" approach, though. You fought for your right to be equal to him in the workplace, and have given up your "delicate preciousness"... so deal with it.
on a side note, wouldnt it be nice if you didnt have to deal with it though?? It would be so nice to just have a fellow co-worker take him out back and defend your honor...lol Ya, that doesnt happen anymore though:)
Thursday, November 3, 2011
What YAHOO Considers News
#1--Five Married Women On Why They Cheated
#2--Actress Passed Up For 'Notebook' Role
#3--The Shoe Styles Every Woman Should Own
#4--Police, Protesters Clash Again In Oakland
#5--Kim's Red Carpet Return Raises Eyebrows
#6--Beyonce's Unquie 5 Inch Heels
#7--How Kim K. Told Mom About Divorce
I could go on, but let's just say this...FOUR (did you hear that) four out of the top forty eight news stories were actually about important shit!! Seriously, who gives a shit why women cheated on their husbands!? It doesn't affect me and my marriage (or anyone else's I know for that matter)! I mean, I like shoes just as much as the next girl, but come'on, it's not news! And as far as Kim K. and that train wreck, I am personally tired of hearing about it. I could really give a rats ass whether or not that waste of brain cells staged that wedding for publicity or not! She is insignificant and cheap...I mean she is famous really for nothing right!?
There is so much going on in America and around the world right now and THIS shit is what Yahoo considers news!? I truly am shocked they are still one of the #1 news sources on the Internet! I do not care for MsNBC (I personally think they are VERY one-sided politically) but I am about to make them my home page just so when I go online to read the news, I actually get the news (no matter how one-sided it is)! Come on people...America is in the shitter, we should demand better out of our news sources. I'm not talking about politics necessarily, but news! Ya know how about child hunger in AMERICA, under performing schools in AMERICA, unemployment in AMERICA and how it's affecting everyday people not politicians, health care and rising insurance rates in AMERICA, our troops still in war in Afghanistan (all the news is focusing on is the troops leaving Iraq) ect... There are real problems out there that NO ONE in the news follows, not because they don't know about it, but because bullshit politics is what gives ratings! All the back and forth bickering and backstabbing is what makes money...it's such a sad state we are in here and it seems like no one is willing to take the high road and put the focus where it needs to be! I'm in no way ashamed to be an American, but I can honestly say I am ashamed of the way our information/Internet/news media ect... is ran! When I win the lottery I am gonna buy a TV station and finally give news to the common American that the common American wants and deserves!!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Who supplied the market research for this one?
Anyone seen these diapers yet??
They are for moms with squirmy babies... that just cant settle down long enough for a diaper change.
Now here goes my rant:
REALLY moms??? "my baby just doesnt want to sit still while i change them" You need to take that 9-12 month old and smack them on their ass the next time they try to get away durring changing time. It's not that crazy of a concept. Just because a kid doesnt feel like doing something doesnt mean you should cater to them. You are the parent, and YOU know what is best for them. And what is best for them is to sit their ass still while you are changing them so that they dont smear poop everywhere or dont beat you in a war of the wills.
All three of my kids tried that sqirmy crap once... and never again.... so i didnt have to buy more expensive diapers because i couldnt get my child to mind me.
there ya go....

